Thanks to you all for your great advice and understanding. At times, the cognitive dissonance is deafening and emotionally overwhelming.😟
One thing that has improved is that I am making a new group of acquaintances through my workplace and non-JW relatives, missing meetings regularly, not as many hours in service either. Paving the road for a future fade.
Quite the task when being indoctrinated from birth, and all important close friends and relatives are hardcore 'line, hook and sinker' JWs.
The saga continues... 😔
Thanks for all your support.
DY